Driving in The Netherlands.......
It CAN be scary..... a lot of cars don't have indicators attached (it would appear anyway), so a car may easily pull out front of you. Do not worry and do not be afraid. Simply take your foot off the accelerator until you have left what one would consider to be a sensible amount of room between you and him. Obviously, there is then then problem of the car that has just UNDERtaken you and he of course now sees a gap between you and the car in front. He WILL pull out AND he will appear to shave a coat of paint off your bumper! Do not worry and do not be afraid. This is again, normal driving behaviour in Holland. Simply take your foot off the accelerator and allow the car in front to get ahead to a sensible distance. You will have to do this a lot. Really. In fact, you may have to slow down so many times to allow the car in front to get ahead, you may well actually end up going backwards!
Ok... So now you know about the Undertakers (an apt name). Then you have the situation where you are on a clear road. There is nothing ahead and nothing behind. Wait for the alarm to go off as this is just a dream and will never happen in Holland.
BUT... IF it does, you WILL still encounter the following situation:
The road ahead is clear. You sit on the inside lane and pootle along. The road behind is clear apart from ONE car in the distance. And you see him coming towards you. Quickly! Warp Factor 1... warp factor 2... getting closer... warp factor 3..... much closer now.... hang on.... the 2 lanes outside you are free..... errr.... why doesn't he move over in a normal, pre-prepared overtaking manoeuvre - as a normal person would. ??? Warp factor 5 at least now... surely ????? For goodness sake !!!! Then.... JUST as he is about to hit take off speed or simply wipe you off the face of the planet in a light speed induced collision, he overtakes you. He appears to have taken your rear bumper off... he must have done... he was THAT close !!!!!
This is another trait of Dutch drivers.... when they overtake you, they are not actually taught using the Highway Code method. Rather than the '100 yards behind the car in front, mirror, signal, manoeuvre and move across to the next lane slowly, gracefully, an overtaking move that would grace Swan Lake. Then, when you have overtaken the car, mirror, manoeuvre, back into the lane from whence you came, by doing it again with grace and slowly and gently move across, leaving plenty of room between you and the car your are overtaking.
NO! Not here! You HAVE to get as close as possible to the car in front. Closer if it's a hatchback so you and your passengers can inspect the contents of his boot and see if there is anything worth nicking. If not, then simply exchange paint as you overtake..... (obviously, if he is in the middle lane, simply move to the inside lane and undertake as normal).
When you are just about in front of the car, simply move across in front of him. It's ok... he has brakes so he WILL use them in order to give you enough room to move into that area that WAS the size of a postage stamp.
I am now getting myself stressed thinking about the journey home. Therefore I will leave this blog for now and we will continue with this at a later date. At least I left the AUDI drivers alone - THIS time.... I WILL get them !!!!!!!!
I'm Andy. I try to make interesting Digital Art. Thank you.